Reblogged from thetrippytrip
that and this
no one's rules but your own
when you pull your headphones out of your pocket and out comes your keys, money, tampons and russia
ok i’ve had so many people asking me why i, a boy, would have tampons in my pocket, but not a single person asking me why i, a boy, would have THE ACTUAL NATION OF RUSSIA IN MY POCKET
Everyone knows that Putin made a travel sized Russia
Russian accent: Ah yes I make perfect country to Putin your pocket
(via aceremuslupin)
Every word in this headline is funnier than the one before it.
(Source: maxistentialist, via aceremuslupin)
Sean Bean hiking up to the Lord of the Rings sets bc he’s afraid of helicopters is even funnier when you hear that Viggo Mortensen did the exact same thing, except Viggo’s reason for hiking to the sets was bc he wanted to be authentically travel-worn
Like literally you have Boromir doing this pretty cool thing bc he’s scared to death of the alternative while Aragorn just does it for The Aesthetic™
(via 30secondstonarnia)
(Source: numahachi, via thebootydiaries)
concept: me, 10 years from now, living in a pretty house with my love, sipping a hot cappuccino on a rainy autumn afternoon. our dog curls up next to me in the window bench while our cat snoozes on the bed. i’m financially stable and i’m never tired anymore. the bees are safe.
THE BEES ARE SAFE
(via notparishilton)
My own play called ‘Harry Potter and the Blessed Child’
- Trelawney has made another prophecy, this one about how Harry and Ginny will have a blessed child
- the three children argue about who it is
- James Sirius thinks it’s him because he’s unbelievably good looking and good at everything and is extremely cocky
- Lily Luna thinks it’s her because she has inherited both her parents talent for quidditch
- Albus Severus thinks it’s him because despite his name he does not pray for death every day
(Cut to Hogwarts)
- Neville is worried about Hagrid because he’s become obsessed with Steve Irwin and has imported crocodiles from Australia to show his third years
- He goes to his hut to try to reason with him but after watching an episode of The Crocodile Hunter ends up agreeing to help him care for the crocodiles whilst Hagrid goes to get a great white shark to bring into the lake
- McGonagall retired after teaching James Sirius for one day, but every year McGonagall Day is held where every student is on their best behaviour in honour of her
(Cut to 2 hour segment of Harry James Potter being happy)
- Ron learns to cook and is actually really fucking good at it, he opens a restaurant
- Malfoy visits the restaurant to mock Ron, and asks him if they have any ‘weasel pies’
- Malfoy ends up obsessed with the food there and secretly visits each week under a new disguise
- Hermione starts a knitted beanie business
(3 hour montage of the Harry, Ron, Hermione laughing merrily)
- Albus Severus asks to change his name, Harry agrees that he can change it only if he changes it to Fleamont
(1 hour Luna Lovegood dance sequence)
- Long speech about how the blessed child was all 3 children all along, Lily Luna and James Sirius sob and embrace their brother Fleamont Hedwig.
- (audience sobs because they are the blessed children too)
- The end
